Month: February 2018

Nightmares that I own

Some nights , I was afraid to close my eyes again , I would lay in my bed , wide awake for hours before I fell asleep again .
It was the horror of my nightmares , blood ,
destruction and screams that would fill my mind with fear of falling asleep ..
I never knew what was the reason behind it my thoughts all cranked up in a place with no outlet or just random stuffs I ever came across on streets on television or something I never thought could exist or happen , processing in my brain ..
With the days passing by , I learned to live with them . It still haunts me when it’s too scary to be forgotten or when I wake up with tears in my eyes to catch a breath .
‎Now , I am afraid of it’s absence as if it keeps me going on , as if it was always a part of my life .
‎It irritates me when I don’t get them for days , I crave for those chaos in my life ..
It’s absence feels empty like I have lost what I owned .. It’s like a prize that comes to me after my day , without asking for it .. like those nightmares surrender themselves to me in a realm of my subconscious mind ..
Like they have found a place to hide at night and I am their shelter ..
And although , I wake up with disgust , I sense relief in owning it , to call something that’s mine ..

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Give

I have given up so much peace

Now,

I feel like snatching it ..

Lost objects

That thing we left behind ,
our laughter in the library
And innocence of friendship
In those bright corridors
Where our feet made the noises
And heart still bled of true red
That thing we left behind
Was unsung glory of our promises
And blanket of kindness
In those bright corridors
Where we pledged to be true warriors